It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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