I am puke
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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