I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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