My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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