i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
