That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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