She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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