I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
