I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
