Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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