Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
