Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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