Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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