better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
