I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
