I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
