my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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