Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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