when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
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Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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