I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
