I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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