so explain again why im purple
no
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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