you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I need moral support for this bender
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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