Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
