So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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