I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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