You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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