So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
