ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
