For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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