No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You took a bar mat shot.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize