Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
