Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just want nice things and good sex
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
