Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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