Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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