I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
