you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
