Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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