Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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