I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
