my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
