you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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