The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
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It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
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I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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