He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
