uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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