i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
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I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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