I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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