so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
