Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
