Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
