I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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