did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I pour the whiskey from now on
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
