nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
