On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
