4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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